Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Hi, I just started reading a book that I think will help us all be happier.
It's called "To Love Is TO Be Happy With" by Barry Neil Kaufman. Here are just a few paragraphs.
"Most of us believe that we have to be unhappy now so that we can be happy later." Wow! I realize that I say that to myself. Oh, I'm not happy now, but when I get what I want I will be happy.
"In using unhappiness as a motivator, reinforcer and gauge (to measure caring), we create a continual cycle of discomfort."
Think of something you are unhappy with and ask yourself,"What am I afraid would happen if
I weren't unhappy about it."
Another good one: "If I weren't unhappy about it, it would mean I didn't care."
Ask yourself these questions, "Am I afraid to give up some or all of my unhappiness? Do I believe that being perfectly happy would be boring?"
On page 120, "If I believe that I have the power to control others, then I might think I have the power to determine their desires and behavior. Yet, if I create my own feelings and behavior from my own beliefs, the only person I can possibly control is myself. How can I be responsible for the unhappiness of others or they be responsible for mine." Maybe just for today we could all try to have fewer expectations of our loved ones, and allow them to just do the best they can. After all that is what we are all doing. Have a great day and give lots of hugs and kisses to those beautiful kids of yours. I really miss mine. They grow up so fast. If you would like to get a copy of this book, I picked this one up at the library. They didn't have any and Barnes and Noble. I want to purchase me a copy, so I am going to check on Amazon.
Thanks for listening sweety pie, Jelene
It's called "To Love Is TO Be Happy With" by Barry Neil Kaufman. Here are just a few paragraphs.
"Most of us believe that we have to be unhappy now so that we can be happy later." Wow! I realize that I say that to myself. Oh, I'm not happy now, but when I get what I want I will be happy.
"In using unhappiness as a motivator, reinforcer and gauge (to measure caring), we create a continual cycle of discomfort."
Think of something you are unhappy with and ask yourself,"What am I afraid would happen if
I weren't unhappy about it."
Another good one: "If I weren't unhappy about it, it would mean I didn't care."
Ask yourself these questions, "Am I afraid to give up some or all of my unhappiness? Do I believe that being perfectly happy would be boring?"
On page 120, "If I believe that I have the power to control others, then I might think I have the power to determine their desires and behavior. Yet, if I create my own feelings and behavior from my own beliefs, the only person I can possibly control is myself. How can I be responsible for the unhappiness of others or they be responsible for mine." Maybe just for today we could all try to have fewer expectations of our loved ones, and allow them to just do the best they can. After all that is what we are all doing. Have a great day and give lots of hugs and kisses to those beautiful kids of yours. I really miss mine. They grow up so fast. If you would like to get a copy of this book, I picked this one up at the library. They didn't have any and Barnes and Noble. I want to purchase me a copy, so I am going to check on Amazon.
Thanks for listening sweety pie, Jelene
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